I wouldn’t normally say “Go to Hartford!” I mean, not that…

I wouldn’t normally say “Go to Hartford!” I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with Hartford, but just as I don’t often tell people to go to, I dunno, Poughkeepsie or Toledo (sorry to anyone from those two towns I’ve never been to), Hartford is just kind of there. 

But I went to Hartford the other day for the Yard Goats and now everything has changed. Now Hartford is a destination you should head off to for one of the most gorgeous Minor League ballparks I’ve ever seen. I mean, there are legit second decks. I obviously have only seen a small percentage of Minor League stadiums, but I don’t think I could tell you of a single other one with a second deck. 

There’s a home run device that, because the stadium is owned by Dunkin’ Donuts, is a coffee cup that RELEASES THE STEAM

Oh, yeah, and there are actual, live goats in the petting zoo. So, scrap those summer plans of going to Disney or Europe or the Pacific Coast Highway. Go to Hartford. 

Anyway, here are a few things I wrote this week that you should read: 

Willians Astudillo is unlike any other player in baseball. Namely, because he’s built like a backyard shed and he never strikes out. How’s he doing it? Click and read for all that and more in this week’s IN SHORT ORDER

Bartolo Colon has given up home runs to 301 different players. He’s only the second pitcher to ever pull that off. While it seems like a record you wouldn’t want, it’s actually a testament to how good he’s been for so long. Here are 10 homer-rific facts about his milestone

Who are the big league stars that absolutely dominate their fellow All-Stars? Click and find out. (What? You think I’d give away that premium #content without a click?) 

If you are like me, you’ve spent most of this summer sweating through your clothes. Here are 11 times players dealt with it a little better

And here a few pieces from other people that I really enjoyed: 

Grant Desme was once a top prospect. Then he left the game to pursue the priesthood. R.J. Anderson spoke with him now that he’s making a comeback in baseball

Jon Gray, the assumed ace of the Rockies, was recently sent down. Here’s a look at some of the issues he’s had that don’t show up in his otherwise-good FIP

Paul Moehringer’s All-Time Team Rankings are super fun and a great way to remember some otherwise forgotten fan favorites. Here are the Diamondbacks, who have quite the stacked rotation.